I was close - reread the setuptools/build_meta.py source. Discovered that all of the individual words in the argv list used by the backend invoked by build need to have the --config-setting=--build-option={the-argv-word}.
So my example command line in the OP should have been this:
python3 -m build --wheel '--config-setting=--build-option=-v' \
'--config-setting=--build-option=egg_info' \
'--config-setting=--build-option=--tag-build' \
'--config-setting=--build-option=post20240119000000'
As oyvind answered, to supply the global options to the backend, use --config-setting. eg.
--config-setting=--global-option=--no-user-cfg
My PEP 517 builds are now using the above pattern. IHTH someone else.