I set out to do this today what @gimly was attempting 8 years ago. After an hour of poking around for an hour, I finally bumped into YARP, which looks to be 100% what I need.

The clear answer today, IMHO, is YARP. @spencer741 and @surya were there long before me, but their answers aren't as prominent as they ought to be.

I wish I'd seen this question and an answer of YARP a lot sooner.