Using RPi OS bookworm Lite (64bit):

I found the instructions here (Win, Mac and Deb are provided) worked when all else failed:
https://people.csail.mit.edu/hubert/pyaudio/

It is vital to read the "Notes:" section for the OS you are using.

Also, obviously, make sure what you install is visible to python

(in my case I installed into /bin in the venv I was using).